Should Christians Attend a Gay Wedding?
This question comes up fairly frequently these days as high-profile pastors and Christian leaders come out on opposite sides of the issue. Let me begin with the first part of the most famous verse in the Bible, John 3:16: “For God so loved the world . . .” As Christians, we are called to follow His example and love others.
Our food packing events (called Packathons) are a great place to express this love. Anyone is welcome to participate. It doesn’t matter whether you have a PhD or lack any formal education, or whether you’re a weightlifter or have a severe disability. Everyone has an equally important job. Further, it doesn’t matter who you are or what you believe. We can come together as different ethnicities with different skill sets, beliefs, religions, political viewpoints, etc. and not just pack food together, but have a great time doing it. We can energetically unite under the banner of providing food for those in need.
We don’t ask for a belief statement from volunteers before they’re allowed to enter the packing room. We also don’t hide what we believe as a Christian nonprofit organization. Our beliefs are clearly stated on our website here. The last statement on the page is the “Statement on Protecting FtH Integrity.” Here is most of it:
We are devoted to spreading the love of Jesus, especially to at-risk children who need their basic hungers met. We help them regardless of who they are or what they believe. Likewise, we welcome you to join this effort, no matter who you are or what you believe. Whether you desire to host a Packathon or participate in one, please help. However, this involvement is contingent upon one simple condition: your only motivation is to help needy kids through Feed the Hunger. This is the ONLY cause that will be promoted at a Packathon. Our food packing events are NOT a platform for any personal or corporate cause (unless there is written consent from Feed the Hunger).
Whether you’re gay, straight, white, brown, Republican, Democrat, and so on, come pack food! We welcome interaction from anyone, provided they don’t outwardly come against our biblical beliefs at the event. We are all there to pack, not to protest against each other.
As a Christian, I am called to love you. But this doesn’t mean I have to support what you’re doing if it conflicts with my deeply held religious beliefs. I can love you and not support your decisions at the same time. We do this all the time as parents with our children. This reality for Christians is what the media and critics either don’t get or don’t mention. They equate not endorsing gay marriage to hate. This is a terribly wrong verdict to reach.
Should Christians love friends or family who marry someone of the same gender? Absolutely. Should Christians attend the wedding? In my humble opinion, no. I would not be present when someone is embracing for the rest of their lives what God so clearly calls sin.
Let’s look at this issue another way that may be helpful, even if you disagree:
- If my daughter decided to have an online pornographic presence, would I go on my computer and watch her?
- If my close friend wanted to become a thief, would I go with them to the jewelry store and watch them steal?
- If my father was an alcoholic, would I go with him to a bar where he vows to be drunk for the rest of his life?
- If my son wanted to swindle people through the internet, would I go to a launch party for his scam website?
These hypothetical examples are unrealistic and pretty silly, aren’t they? Why? Because they never happen. No one
would ask their loved ones for this kind of presence and participation. Therefore,
- If my male cousin is marrying a man, would I go to his wedding?
The answer is still no. I would say, “I love you so much, but I can’t be a part of this.”
Paul clearly states that all these lifestyle choices are incompatible with God’s standard:
Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9–10).
One cannot claim to be a Christian and claim to have the Holy Spirit and the Bible guiding their lives but also embrace a sinful lifestyle at the same time. God says we can’t have it both ways. It doesn’t matter if my thoughts differ from God’s. It doesn’t matter if my feelings about gay marriage have changed because someone I deeply care about is uniting with someone of the same sex. God’s Word has not changed.
Let me close by talking about the consequences you may experience for not attending such an event. Specifically, this will likely strain the relationship with the loved one. Continue to communicate with them. Continue to express your love for them. Pray for them and for your relationship. Stay humble and strive to be a peacemaker. If they are not a believer, pray that God would open their heart. If they are a believer, pray that they would accept God’s Word, receive the conviction of the Holy Spirit, and resist temptation and sin.
We all sin. We are all fallen. All followers of Christ are sinners saved by grace. We are also called to resist temptation and sin for the rest of our lives. We will fall short. We will fail. But we must continue to fight against sin, and we must certainly never endorse it, no matter how much we care about the person.
God loves you and I love you,
Joseph